Mars and Venus on a Date: A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship eBook: John Gray: le-reiki.info: Kindle. John Gray Thursday, October 19, The Five Stages of Dating. Whether you are starting over, just starting to date, or have been dating for years, one thing. Mars and Venus on a Date. A Guide for Navigating the 5 Stages of Dating to Create a Loving and Lasting Relationship. by John Gray. On Sale: 10/06/
Soul Mates are never perfect. But when your heart is open and you know them, they are perfect for you. So what are the Five Stages of Dating? Basically, there are five stages of dating that couples go through to grow into a more serious relationship. It helps to have a strong understanding of each stage so you can better navigate the dating world and find the right partner for you.
I will explain the five stages now but my book, Mars and Venus On A Dategoes far deeper into explaining them with real examples and strategies for navigatig the dating scene. Attraction The secret to the Attraction Stage is staying true to who you are, while still expressing your best and most positive self.
This can be a challenge for both men and women because we forget how our language and behavior may be misinterpreted. Tips for Women A common misunderstanding women have of men is that they should communicate like women. Many women make the mistake of assuming that the more a woman listens to a man with great interest, the more he will be interested in listening to her. Unfortunately, the more a man talks, the more he becomes interested in what he is talking about — and stops thinking about her.
In order for a man to be interested in a woman, she should do more of the talking and share herself in a positive manner. She should also avoid dwelling on negative feelings or problems in her life because he may assume she is difficult to please. Talking too much and putting it all out there right away can feel like too much information to a man and turn him off. Tips for Men In order a woman to be interested in a man, he should do something to make her feel special.
This could simply be when he notices her, he initiates eye contact, and gives her a sincere compliment. When he offers these gestures without expecting anything else other than the pleasure of getting to know her, he becomes more attractive.
A woman is attracted to a man who shows interest in her. So, he should also take the time to ask questions, listen and get to know her more than talking about himself and offering advice. He could try some open questions like: What do you like to do for fun? Tell me about your work. Tell me about your family. The Challenge The challenge during the first stage of dating is to make sure you get the opportunity to express your attraction and get to know a potential partner.
The man should chase and the girl should let him. Uncertainty Just as the first stage of dating is a time to meet and get to know a variety of people, the second stage is the time to focus on one person and give that relationship a chance to grow. Men and women experience uncertainty differently.
While a man tends to question whether he wants to pursue a relationship, a woman tends to question where the relationship is going.
Uncertainty for Him When a man is uncertain, he tends to question whether he wants to pursue the relationship or keep pursuing other women. He may really like her but he questions whether she can give him what he wants. When a man is uncertain, he should ask himself: Could I be the right man for her?
Do I care for her? Do I want to make her happy? Do I miss her when we are apart? Uncertainty for Her When a woman is uncertain she tends to focus on where the relationship is going.
She often senses the man pulling away and worries if she did something wrong or if he is with someone else. When a man comes on strong in Stage One and then pulls back in Stage Two, a woman sometimes feels like chasing him or giving him more.
This can sabotage the relationship. As she is looking for his reassurance, she often makes one of two common mistakes: She asks him where the relationship is going.
She tries to win him over by being too pushy or giving up herself. Both of these approaches can push him away or prevent him from feeling confident that he is the right man for her. Instead of letting him continue to please her, her attempts to please him can cause him to lose interest. If and when she is not sure where her relationship is going, she should find support from her friends. This gives her time and space to think about whether he is really the right person for an exclusive relationship.
The Challenge The challenge in Stage Two of dating is to recognize that uncertainty is normal during the dating process. Without a good understanding of the uncertainty stage, it is easy for a man to drift from one partner to another and for a woman to make the mistake of pursuing a man more than he is pursuing her.
Exclusivity The Third Stage of Dating begins when both people feel a desire to date each other exclusively. Both of them want the opportunity to give and receive love in a special relationship without competition. They want to relax and have more time to share with one partner. The Exclusivity Stage begins with a conversation and a commitment to stop seeing other people. Exclusivity must not be assumed without talking about it and coming to an agreement about it.
Many people believe that if they are sexually involved, then they are exclusive. However, sex is not a requirement for exclusivity. Exclusivity for Him When a man moves into the exclusivity stage, he can often grow complacent in the relationship.
He may assume that he has done all he needs to do to win a willing partner. This can cause him to stop doing the things that made him so attractive to her in the beginning. This is not the time for him to sit home and assume that the work of building a romance is over. He needs to continue to take the time to explore what she likes and plan romantic dates together. Romance fuels her attraction for him.
If he relaxes too much, she may stop responding to him like the way she did during the first two stages of dating. Exclusivity for Her After she has agreed to be exclusive, her greatest challenge is asking him for support. He may begin to question his feeling: To find reassurance, she makes one of two common mistakes. Either she starts asking questions about the relationship, or she may try to win him over.Seven Ways A Woman Can Attract A Top 10 Man - John Gray
Both of these approaches can push him away to prevent him from feeling confident that he is the right guy for her.
It is a time to fill up her life with the support of friends. If he pulls away, she should gracefully allow him take his distance. If she can fill up her life with the support of friends and family and she still misses him, it is a good sign. The wise woman waits for him to pursue her. Yet there is a time for a woman to call. It is foolish to wait passively. A wise woman can create the opportunity for a man to pursue her. The worst thing she can do is to call him and interrogate him about his feelings about her and the relationship.
Two days, two weeks, or even two months may pass by in a flash, and then suddenly he remembers how much he likes a woman. He thinks about calling but anticipates that he will be scolded or rejected for taking so long to call.
So he decides to not call and moves on. If he has received a friendly call, then he gets the clear message that he is not in trouble. This then frees him to consider pursuing her again. More is not always better. Instead of letting him continue to please her, she shifts to trying to please him. Inevitably her position is compromised and he loses interest. But by clearly realizing that she is under no obligation, she can begin to freely flirt with men and enjoy receiving what men can offer.
The more receptive and responsive she becomes, the more attractive she will be to the kind of man who will want to marry her. Exclusivity -In stage three, we build a foundation that allows us to open our hearts and truly love someone.
Before this stage, we are just reacting to the anticipation of getting what we need and testing to see if we want to get involved. In stage three, he mistakenly assumes the pursuit is over.
Most men think that you do little romantic things only until a woman accepts you and then you can relax. When he assumes he is doing enough and the woman is not happy, he quickly gives up and loses his attraction. The biggest mistake a woman makes in stage three is to assume that now a man will do things without her having to ask. He can then feel confident that he can fulfill her. The best time to ask for support is when a man stops offering it.
It is not that he is resisting giving the help; he is resisting her resentful attitude. By learning to ask for what she wants in a positive way, a woman will eventually develop one of the most important skills she needs for having a successful relationship with a man.
She feels inclined to do more for him. As she feels she is giving more, she is no longer as excited and appreciative of the little things he does. Instead of growing in appreciation, she begins to take her partner for granted. Being responsive is at first automatic, but then a woman must consciously make a choice to focus on and express her positive responses. Intimacy -Using the right dating skills cannot make you love someone more or make him or her love you more, but dating skills can assist you in discovering how much love you have for a person.
A woman can open up more and communicate how she feels even when she is not in a good mood. She does not always have to be positive when they are together. There is so much to do. Do you still love me? However, he can return to her with even more love. Each time after he pulls away, his love has a chance to grow when he returns.
She must be careful not to be rejecting when he returns. By taking the time to move through all the five stages, a man ensures that when he does give all of himself it will yield the greatest return. If the man has always planned the dates, she can do it now and then. If he has always been a good listener, now she just listens. If he has always initiated romance, now she initiates it sometimes. But it must be done with caution. It is so easy for a man to sit back and receive and for a woman to give too much.
When roles are switched, it should be done consciously, with awareness that it is just occasional. Because when a man needs a woman more than she needs him, it can be a real turnoff. Move through the first four stages and you will know. Engagement -To make sure it is lasting, we much acknowledge and commit ourselves to it. It is important to strike while the iron is hot; otherwise, when it cools down, we may miss the opportunity.
On Venus, second to a wedding ceremony, the proposal is the most cherished memory of a lifetime. When one partner apologizes, that makes it easier for the other to find forgiveness. When one partner is very forgiving, that makes it easy for the other to be responsible and apologize. It is difficult for a man to apologize for his mistakes when he does not sense he will be forgiven.
In stage five, he still anticipates being forgiven. That is why this is the best time for him to practice. She experiences and learns that her love, not her punishments, brings out the best in him.
Marriage is like a magnifying glass. Our love grows, but our problems and pressures become bigger as well. Now that you admit you are wrong and I am right, we can be friends again. When you say you are sorry, the discussion begins. She will proceed to tell him in great detail why he should be feeling sorry. When she starts talking, he feels his apology did no good.
Mars and Venus On a Date
Explanations can make things worse. Making it through the five stages -To get through the five stages of dating, it is important to respect the whole process. Each stage creates certain opportunities and challenges. Instead of focusing on pleasing him because he makes her happy, she needs to let him continue to please her with his actions.
She does not have to do anything to earn his interest. The more she gives and she graciously receives, the more interested he becomes. He thinks, Okay, I can relax; I must be doing enough. On Venus they tend instinctively to know that feelings are always changing.
She needs assurance that his feelings will not change as they really get to know each other. When a woman is in stage one or two and a man behaves as if he is in stage three, four, or five, then she can easily lose interest.
She feels he wants too much, so she feels obligated to give back more than she is ready to. She is afraid of getting involved and hurting him. When a man pursues a woman but not yet sure about exclusivity or beyond, it can make him very attractive. This does not necessarily mean that they will not make it through all the stages, but it does mean that they will not gain the insights and ability necessary to build a strong foundation for the relationship to grow. Men respond much better when they are not seen as the problem but as the solution.
Mars and Venus On a Date - PDF Drive
This is the time to move back to stage two Uncertainty. Another benefit is that the woman gives her partner the space he needs to determine if he is the right person for her. By creating more distance between them, she gives him a chance to experience how much he loves her.
Quite often a man feels how much he loves a woman when he is directly faced with the possibility of losing her. It is simply because he needs distance to feel his longing and desire. Men Are Like Blowtorches, Women Are Like Ovens -Often a man will suddenly become physically attracted to a woman and then just as quickly lose interest. He is like a blowtorch that can heat up really fast and then turn off in an instant.
Women are like ovens. They slowly heat up and slowly cool off. This chemistry cannot be created. A woman must remember that she is not that special, because there are a lot of women to whom a man can feel physically attracted. There are only a few women for whom he can feel all three levels of chemistry.
It is then that a woman is most special to a man. At this point, she may discover that she also feels physical attraction. It might happen slowly or it might happen very suddenly. Quite often it happens when he gives her a kiss. When a shy man postpones the kiss, it may actually postpone or even prevent a woman from feeling her physical attraction.
Book Summaries: Mars and Venus on a Date - John Gray
This is a clear sign that this woman is attracted to her fantasy of the man and not the man himself. She is attracted to the illusion of who she thinks he is. A man needs to remember that a woman is like an oven that slowly warms up.
This attraction has nothing to do with whether a woman is his soul mate. When a man finds his soul mate, she is rarely the type he was most attracted to at the more undiscerning level. Level Two for Men: Emotional Attraction He starts to find that he likes some better than others. When he experiences a woman, he will not just feel physical attraction, but will also sense how much he likes her.
Quite often, opposite personalities are attracted to each other. Level Three for Men: Mental Attraction In level three he is attracted to her character as well: The degree to which a woman has developed aspects of her character does not interfere with making her attractive to a man. She is most attractive when she is herself and there is mental chemistry. Level Four for Men: His love recognizes that this person, though imperfect, is perfect for him. This decision is not based on a list of conditions.
The soul just knows. Mental Attraction A woman imagines what a man is like and is attracted to something is his character. Just as men with a low level of discernment long to be with women they see in magazines, women at their lowest level of discernment long to be with the men in romance novels. Level Two for Women: Emotional Attraction Here she likes some better than others.
Even without knowing a man, she can already tell in advance that he is not her type and she will not date him. Through trial and error she eventually discovers the kind of personality in a man with which she is most compatible and feels safe being herself.
Level Three for Women: Physical Attraction Here she wants not just to be touched by his mind and heart, but also to be touched physically.
When a man holds her hand, put his arm around her, or gives her a kiss, a lot of physical attraction is felt. Just as a man at level one longs to touch, a woman at level three longs to be touched. Level Four for Women: Soul Attraction Her open heart makes her capable of eventually seeing the good in her partner, even though he is neither perfect nor able to fulfill all her needs.
A mature man who continues to date any woman who seems physically attractive, friendly, or sexually responsive may never find real, lasting love. A mature woman who continues to date any man who seems interested in her looks but not her mind as well will continue to be disappointed.
If you are at the lowest level of discernment, then dating anyone will help you grow in discernment. Once you have already developed your discernment, you lose something if you look back. It offers us the opportunity to prepare ourselves for finding and recognizing our soul mate. Each time you are increasing your ability to discern the right person for you. By ending relationships with a more loving and nonjudgmental attitude, we will continue to be attracted to the people who are closer to what we want.
The Dynamics of Male and Female Desire -Women mistakenly follow the advice that if you want someone to be interested in you, you should be interested in him. When a woman is really interested in a man, he tends to become more interested in himself. If she listens attentively, he will generally talk more. If she seeks to please his every need, he will gladly let her know what more she can do. When he senses that she is not happy, she becomes less interesting to him and the attraction lessens.
If a woman is receptively interested in a man, it will generate his active interest in her. When she considers his request, his confidence is increased.
The way a woman makes him feel good is by creating opportunities for him to succeed in truly fulfilling her needs. Not only is it not necessary for her to give back, but giving back can also prevent him from being more interested. On her planet, it is just god manners to give back immediately.
After a while he becomes interested in someone else, who does promise to bring out the best in him. When a woman is receptive, she gives a man the confidence to take the risks necessary to impress her.
If she makes the mistake of trying to impress him, then he will automatically relax and let her do the risking.
Men become actively interested when they are figuring out what to do, what to give, how to provide, how to achieve a goal, how to impress someone, and how to get the love, acceptance, and admiration they want. These qualities tend to make him much more attractive to women. On the other hand, when a woman is being receptive, her best and most feminine qualities have a chance to shine. Men Pursue and Women Flirt -To be most attractive, a man needs to do little things with an attitude of confidence and conviction.
A woman needs to respond to the things he does in a receptive but not fully convinced manner. A man should not get the idea that she is after him, but that she is open to finding out if she likes him.
The Five Stages of Dating
Women enjoy it most when a man takes the risk to impress her rather than waiting for her to do something to impress him. Even if you are not coherent, she will be impressed because you took the risk to pursue her. It is relatively easy for a woman to speak when she has strong feelings, but for a man, the stronger the feelings, the less he is able to think and speak.
How to Compliment the Opposite Sex? The bottom line is that men want to be acknowledged, while women want to be adored.
His affection for her increases because he feels so proud.