Are You Dating Someone with Asperger’s? | Linx Line
Understanding why you chose a man with Asperger's is the key to resolving your relationship troubles. When someone has a partner with Asperger Syndrome, she or he may be partner's actions (or lack of actions) as a slight or personal affront. Dating with high-functioning autism isn't easy, but it can be done. and being mildly autistic—or having Asperger's Syndrome (AS), if you use.
Sadly, we receive little useful education about how to make love work or how to make love last, or just how to make love. A great deal of our learning comes from television and movies, which are two-dimensional at best.
Dating With Asperger’s
When someone has a partner with Asperger Syndrome, she or he may be craving sweet, romantic gestures that never come. Asperger Syndrome is characterized by a lack of communication skills, social skills and reciprocity of feelings. The Aspie knows what they think and feel, but often is unaware of what others think or feel. The answer is simple: Aspies and NTs neurotypical — someone not on the autism spectrum choose partners just like everyone else.
We enjoy the similarities for the comfort and the differences for the spice. We also unconsciously seek mates who have qualities we lack. Those with Asperger Syndrome are attracted to a strong, compassionate NT who can handle the social world for them. The NT is attracted to the unconventional nature and childlike charm of the AS adult.
They are content not to be swept away by the cultural belief that marriage or a long-term relationship is the only way to achieve happiness. There also can be a more liberal attitude to sexual diversity such as homosexuality and bisexuality, and a rich fantasy life and sexual imagery. There may be less concern regarding age and cultural differences in a relationship.
Please rate the helpfulness of this article: See IAN's section on Adults and Teens with Autism for articles about employment, independent living skills, college, health care, driving, and personal relationships.
Romance, Love and Asperger Syndrome
IAN's series on adulthood, including independent living skills and college, begins with Coming of Age: Autism and the Transition to Adulthood References: Sex, sexuality and the autism spectrum. Theory of mind and self-consciousness: What is it like to be autistic? View Abstract Attwood, T.
Understanding and managing circumscribed interests. Sexual Addiction and Compulsivity, 11 4— View Abstract Aston, M. Couple relationships and family affairs. The complete guide to Asperger's syndrome. Practical advice and activities for couples and counsellors: Making sense of sex: A forthright guide to puberty, sex and relationships for people with Asperger's syndrome.
- Coping With a Partner's Asperger's Syndrome
- Romantic Relationships for Young Adults with Asperger's Syndrome and High-Functioning Autism
- 5 Tips for Loving Someone with Asperger’s Syndrome
The Asperger love guide: From adolescence through adulthood. Freaks, geeks and Asperger syndrome: A user guide to adolescence. It can support the idea that the person has genuine difficulties arising from a real, legitimate condition. A new, and more accurate, understanding of the person can lead to appreciation and respect for what the person is coping with.
Acceptance by friends and family members is more likely. Employers are more likely to understand the ability and needs of an employee should that employee make the diagnosis known.
Accommodations can be requested and a rationale can be provided based on a known diagnosis. Having the diagnosis is a relief for many people. It provides a means of understanding why someone feels and thinks differently than others. There can be a new sense of personal validation and optimism, of not being defective, weird or crazy. Acceptance of the diagnosis can be an important stage in the development of successful adult intimate relationships.
It also enables therapists, counselors and other professionals to provide the correct treatment options should the person seek assistance. Liane Holliday Willey is an educator, author and speaker. Yes, but the list is shorter than the list of advantages.
No longer will they be able to hope to have a satisfying, intimate relationship. Instead, their future will be filled with loneliness and alienation from others with no expectation of improvement.
While it is not legally acceptable to do so, we know that silent discrimination happens, hiring decisions are not always made public and competition can leave someone with a different profile out of the picture. It very well might be that some other condition is the real problem or, more likely, two or more conditions are overlapping.
Brain imaging and studies of the brain structure show similarities between the two disorders. Having said that, there are important differences between the two. People with ADHD often try to do multiple activities at the same time. They get distracted easily and jump from one interest or activity to another.
Focusing on one thing for a long time is hard for them. They are hyper-focused rather than unfocused. There is a similar difference with respect to impulsivity.
People with ADHD will do things without considering the outcome of their actions. They act immediately and have trouble waiting. They interrupt, blurt out comments and seem unable to restrain themselves. They do not tend to have specific weaknesses in their understanding and use of language. They also speak with a normal tone of voice and inflection.
They may talk a lot and have more one-sided conversations as do adults with ADHD but they do so because lacking an understanding of how the person they are talking to is grasping what they are saying they are, in effect, talking to themselves.
They confuse behaviors that may be appropriate in one setting from those that are appropriate in another, so that they often act in appropriate for the situation they are in. They find it hard to interpret the meanings of facial expressions and body posture, and they have particular difficulty understanding how people express their emotions.
When they do communicate their feelings they are often out of synch with the situation that generated the feeling. Adults with ADHD tend to process sensory input in a typical manner. They may have preferences for how they handle sensory input like music, touch, sounds, and visual sensations but generally the way they handle these situations is much like other adults.