Why You Date Who You Date: Evolutionary Psychology Explains | Thought Catalog
Sep 10, Contrary to popular opinion, it is possible, with a proper strategy, to enjoy dating. Aug 25, The hidden science behind dating success: Psychologist reveals the simple . The psychology: 'The talker - your date - will have a positive. Mar 18, Some time ago, I found myself single again (shock, horror!) and decided to get back into the world of dating. One thing that struck me very early.
How can we increase our dating iq? Evolutionary psychology studies human thoughts and behaviours, based on biological and primitive history.
In an interview on The Art of Charm, the evolutionary psychologist dropped dating bombs on why we fail or succeed in the dating arena.
Here are three insights and tips I found We've all rated someone, given them a number out of 10 or something eg. Things like beauty, personality, youth, wealth or status. A healthy relationship is when two numbers are matched.Female Psychology: What Women REALLY Want
But it's not that simple is it? Because the 8, 9 and 10s aren't with guys who are flipping burgers at Burger King. According to Dr Buss, a woman's physical appearance is more important to their mate value than a male's.
He dates this back to our primitive behaviours. On the flip side, men have more room to move on the scale. If he's a 6, he can improve in other areas like wealth, status, humour or getting more in shape.
Dating Psychology | How to Get a First Date | Dating Guide - Beliefnet
Contextual value Mate value is also contextual. It fluctuates based on environment, status perception or life stage. Men and women may peak at different times too. For men, the arc of their career corresponds their value ie. Which is why they may take longer to commit.
It goes back to our primitive dispositions, women look for 'providers' men look for 'reproductive' partners. Environment also has a factor to play.
Your quirky hot uni lecturer is probably perceived differently in a popular bar on a Friday night. In one environment he's the authority, in the other, he's one of 40 guys in a bar. Status perception is a manipulative thing isn't it? Women don't want to date someone who is less intelligent or successful than them,' says Dr. It doesn't mean women have to compromise education to get a dude.
But they need to be realistic. To look at their 'list of 58 things I want in a man' and evaluate what are necessities and what are luxuries. No, no, no, oh maybe, no, yes, no, no, no, no, no, yes, she'll do tonight. Online dating hasn't just increased the amount of dates you can go on, it's also given us the illusion that what we are looking for those 58 things on your list is available.
When in reality population ratio hasn't vastly changed, our perception of 'what's out there' has. It's also upped the anti on vanity. We give someone a 2 second window to impress us based on their physical appearance. We swipe right or left based on superficial tendencies. She has a perfect body figure and her voluptuous hips sway gracefully as she walks past by.
Why does this type of woman appeal to men? It comes as no surprise, then, if a horde of men is lining up to impress and date the woman described above.
Dating Psychology 101
Evolutionary psychology is the branch of psychology concerned with explaining human functions and behaviors in terms of how they increase chances of survival and reproduction. In other words, the woman is highly fertile: The hourglass figure is also more than just a pleasing view of good symmetry and proportion: Evolutionary psychology asserts that as a human being, the true forces that move you to act the way you do are your need to reproduce, have your genes passed on to the next generation, and ultimately ensure the survival of the species.
Now, while evolutionary psychology sees men as selecting mates based on who would provide maximum opportunity for bearing offspring, it sees women in an entirely different light. In the evolutionary perspective, therefore, women are more attracted to men who can provide the financial resources needed for rearing children [read: Now before anyone charges evolutionary psychology of accusing women as mere gold-diggers and men as concerned only with the physical appearance of their mates, note that these speculations were not formed based on what seems instinctively right and observable in common scenarios, but are in fact grounded in research.
One of the many studies that support how evolutionary psychology explains the mate selection process in humans is that of Buss and Barnes.